My collaborative outreach ministry stems from my quest for mental fortitude.
Adversity has always been my close companion, so I continually pray for the Lord to help me find peace of mind. While I now experience the joy of the Lord, I have also discovered the importance of faith under pressure (James 1:2-4 MSG)
About six years ago, I started to write down my prayers as letters to the Lord and saved them in Google Docs. This small change in my prayer life not only gave me amazing perspective, it helped me see a documented history of His answers to my requests.
I have yet to be healed of my brain disorder, but the condition of my heart has been transformed in such a way that I am confident in my eternal life with Christ.
Due to a major episode of psychosis in 2017, I am abundantly clear that fourteen years of wellness was significant but not indicative of being cured of bipolar disorder. What I find interesting is my prayer life started to take a new turn shortly before this tumultuous interruption in my life. So, I will share with you one of my many requests from 2016 when Jesus and I brought our personal relationship to a new level.
You know the desires of my heart. Test me and know my thoughts as well
(Psalm 139:23). It’s the day before Easter (or as my husband would say, “Resurrection Sunday” to be more accurate). I feel your presence, Lord. Please hear my prayers. I am wide awake at 4:30AM and want nothing more than to commune with you. I seek your wisdom and discernment to know how you would have me manage my time. This is such a precious commodity. I want to be a good steward of not only finances and health, but a good steward of the hours you grant me each day on this Earth. It always feels like there are not enough.
In your time, Father, things appear to flow so effortlessly. Help me to work around your clock, not my agenda, tasks, and plans. I want so much to write my story to shed light on my condition and to give you the glory for the transformation you continue to do in me. God, we are your image-bearers (Genesis 1:27) and your masterpieces (Ephesians 2:10). Only you are perfect, but I want to be a true disciple of Christ - walking and working in His ways. With this comes hardship, persecution, and suffering, but it also comes with the crown of victory. Since we are your heirs, I am secure in my faith (Romans 8:17). You are a personal and sovereign God; you are a mighty fortress and the cornerstone of my foundation.
One specific thing I want to hand over to you, Father, is my discipline. I surrender all in my capacity to regiment and control what is good for me. My sinful nature constantly tricks me into believing I need something that I really just want. Show me where I am deficient, God. I want my cumulative effort to be pleasing to you. May I act and serve in a pattern that is positive and not destructive. Keep the enemy at bay and help me fight the good fight (1 Timothy 6:12).
As I head into my 50s with some amount of hindsight, I want to start sharing it in the hopes of being a mentor. My sincere desire is to reach this and the next generation of believers to help make them better equipped for the challenges of being a Christian.
I am not trained in theology or a pastor but a lay person with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and the power of the Resurrection. And, according to The Bible, that is enough.
I invite you to consider your prayer life. What slight adjustment can you make that will bring you closer to God? Then, I would love to hear how implementing this small change affects your faith journey. Let’s do this as an online community and children of God!
The Prayer of Jabez
Jabez prayed to the God of Israel: “Bless me, O bless me! Give me land, large tracts of land. And provide your personal protection—don’t let evil hurt me.” God gave him what he asked.
(1 Chronicles 4:10 MSG)
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