Make me available” is a prayer I prayed 20yrs ago
My husband and I had met in school, got married, and all three of our boys were born in my hometown where my parents still live.
Rob lost his job and found another in a town 2hrs away, but spent 4hrs a days commuting to and from work which was not ideal, so he would stay at a friend’s house Monday through Friday and be home on the weekends.
After 6-7 months of this, my mother lovingly informed me that we needed to be with Rob, but I struggled with moving, so my prayer became “make me available”.
My faith journey started as a child. Born and raised in a Christian family, I asked Christ into my heart at the age of 7. I was a sinner and had no doubt that Christ was my Savior. Then I became a rebellious teenager.
Although I prayed when I needed God, I felt I only needed him when someone mistreated me.
Through the next 5 years, my parents loved me, prayed for me and forgave me. Their forgiving me, taught me to forgive myself and began my journey to really understand what faith means.
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
In my teens and early twenties, I wanted to understand this verse, but I got caught up on “you can say to this mountain ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.” I took it so literally and expected to be able to move a mountain although I knew I couldn’t. I knew God could. He created them, so He could move them.
God began showing me what having a mustard seed size of faith means.
As a young wife and mother, I worried a lot. I would lay awake at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, worrying about wether our boys were warm enough, or their behavior, or whatever. I had learned early on that our boys weren’t ours they were God’s, and He gave us the privilege of raising them. I couldn’t protect them 24hrs a day but God could. But I struggled with letting go and trusting. I got tired of not sleeping and laying awake for hours, and I asked God to help me.
God reminded me that the boys were a gift from Him and I needed to give them back to Him. And I pictured myself putting my boys in a box, tying a bow, and handing them back to God. The weight lifted off my shoulders. So, every time I began worrying, I would picture myself putting whatever I was worried about in a box, tying a bow, and giving it to God. It was a mustard seed size of faith, but my faith grew every time. But I still didn’t understand how I could “move a mountain”.
In Matthew 17: 14 -20 God taught me that this passage didn’t mean I would literally move a mountain but I would have the faith to face whatever came my way.
In 2002, we were evacuated because of a wildfire. We knew about the fire and were working on getting ready to go to my parents for the night because the smoke became so thick we wouldn’t be able to sleep comfortably.
Rob stepped outside to have a look and shouted that we needed to leave“NOW!” I told the boys to get in the car and wait while I grabbed a suitcase and threw clothes in. As I fought to get the suitcase out of the front door, I looked out and saw our boys’faces in the windows, their eyes as big as saucers, and the flames reflecting in the windows.
I didn’t have time to worry.
“Protect us, Lord!” I prayed.
In short, we got out. There were no injuries. Many of our neighbors lost their homes, but ours remained untouched. As we left our home that day, we couldn’t see the mountain because it had become hidden behind the flames, but in having a mustard seed size of faith, God moved the mountain for us.
Having faith in God, doesn’t mean we have to quote the entire Bible, chapter and verse, it doesn’t mean we have it all together, it doesn’t mean we have to go to seminary, it just means we know that He will do what He says and we can face anything in His name.
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