This is my prodigal daughter story, of how I ran away from my calling to be with a man God never intended me to be with.
Last year I was in a toxic and unhealthy relationship that was founded on lust and loneliness. I became codependent on him out of fear of ending up alone.
I was so blindly in love with the guy that I compromised every single one of my morals to keep him. I even left my parents home in pursuit of his love.
I thought I found "the one" so I needed to be near him no matter where he would go. I was idolizing him but he was not the one who is worthy of all my praise and honor.
Blindly I was loosing myself over him. I gained soo much weight and I was angry all the time. I became depressed and anxious and cried almost every but still I stayed. I caught him cheating on me multiple times and I still stayed.
I felt like my value was insignificant so I allowed him to walk all over me. I lost sight of who I was and whose I was.
Out of fear of being alone I stayed with a person who made me feel more alone than anything. There was so much secrecy and lies in this relationship. So many arguements and cheating. The relationship was a constant power struggle and left me feeling powerless every time.
But I thank God for his mercy and grace. Just when I was about to reach a point of no return by marrying that man, God allowed him to break my heart so that HE could save me.
When he left I was devastated and such a mess. I couldn't imagine ever being able to move on with my life. I felt like no one could ever love me the way I thought that man did.
But, God so loved the world that he gave his only son so that whoever believed would not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).
God loved me too much to allow me to stray so far that I would not be able to come back to Him.
My loving Father welcomed me home with open arms, healed my wounds, and healed my broken heart. Today I am free from the bondage that relationship placed on me.
I am free from low self esteem, codependency, shame, self rejection, rejecting love, lust, loneliness, pornography, violence, shame, unforgiveness, condemnation and addiction to marijuana.
There are two important things I have learned from this lesson I went through:
1. God will break us to build us. Without that experience God would not have had a chance to make me whole again. I was gracefully broken.
2. As long as we hide and pretend that our sinful desires do not control us, we will never really be able to escape it’s bondage.
This is the first time that I am sharing any of these things and I have never felt so free!
I want to share this testimony because I want the world to know who God is! I want others to know that what He did for me He can do for them.
TO CONNECT WITH STELLA ON: