My faith began early in my life. I was 12 years-old when I felt the warmth and comfort of the Holy Spirit for the first time.
I was at a church for a revival and as I immersed myself in listening to the sermon, it was at the end that I felt the realness of God.
I have tried to explain to those who question me about my faith, that this is something that is felt. I tell them that yes, I can see God’s work, and I see it in a child’s smile, when someone forgives another, and when someone cries tears of joy knowing that they are loved. Those are just a few examples.
I explain to them that if you have ever been in love romantically, then you believed that because you felt the love. No one could have told you or could tell you now, that the feeling of love that you felt wasn’t real. You experienced that. This is what it is like as a Christian.
I was a sensitive child, but surprisingly tough too. I held a lot of things that hurt inside me as I grew up, and before I even knew what was happening, I began experiencing depression and anxiety. It made life hard.
I didn’t feel like I was loved and I still feel this awful (and not true) feeling at times. I became someone that I didn’t really care for. I wanted to love myself again but I didn’t know how. I had been masking my feelings and covering up my anxiety with alcohol and a bitter attitude. Hurt people do hurt others, and I was definitely hurting.
I will never forget bringing that all to Jesus, and asking Him to please, please help me.
I didn’t want to go another day resenting myself or my life. I knew this wasn’t how we were made to live. He showed me my valuable connections; my friends and family that loved me. He showed me my self worth and my confidence began to grow.
Recently He showed me that I was still looking for a love that I felt would sustain me, and that I was putting this want in front of my relationship with Him, the only One that can truly sustain me.
We put so much emphasis on finding love that we often get caught up in it, and I certainly had.
At this moment in my life, I have never felt closer to Him. I haven’t felt this good in a very long time.
Start to see yourself through your pain, and ask yourself who it is that you really want to be, and what are you trying to cover up? What are you trying to hide from the One that knows you
Give it to Him. Work hard and stay strong. I’m here to tell you, you will never regret it.
My hope is that you allow God to come into your life and into your heart and let Him transform you as you feel the warmth and comfort of His love for you.
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