LEARNING TO TRUST GOD WITH MY LIFE

Hi, my name is Kate Sperry and I am 16. I have had a pretty normal life. I've grown up in the church and studying the bible.

I was blessed to have a Christian household to grow up in and many great youth teachers at my church who taught me the bible. My grandpa was a preacher and so was my great grandpa. I never knew what it was like to have parents that fought and I always felt loved by my family.

I gave my life to Christ and I never really went through much up until this past year.

I was homeschooled up until eighth grade and I always felt as though I didn't belong or didn’t have the best friends shown on T.V. I always felt alone even in crowds. I always felt like others had things that they were great at but I didn’t seem to have a skill set that I was the best in. 

I constantly found myself praying for a best friend and to finally fit in. I had thought those prayers were answered when in eighth grade I found one of my closest friends. Because I had that person, the need to fit in wasn’t as great. I finally felt so happy in any situation I was in with her and I was so glad God brought her into my life, but because I was happy and got the friend I wanted I stopped pursuing God and fell away. 

I wasn’t living my life for Christ and that really affected me mentally because I wasn’t letting him help me with my problems and trusting him. By the end of freshman year some new people came into our friend group and that changed how close I was with my best friend.

As we grew up we all changed, especially my best friend, and that made me start to overthink more and more. I was already insecure about what people thought about me and cared to please people, so when our friendship changed from super close to just kinda close I started to feel as though she hated me. I ended up making so many different scenarios in my head that everyone hated me and they were all plotting against me. I let my mind take control and lead me down so many rabbit holes that I couldn’t tell what was a realistic thought and what was made up.

I tried to figure everything out on my own and that just wasn’t working out.

Near the end of sophomore year God decided that the friendships I was in were hurting me more than doing me good. I now see that he was right. In the moment when I lost the people I was closest to I felt more alone than ever and yet I didn’t care or think to look to God for comfort and peace.

Through this entire year of overthinking and loneliness I looked to myself to fix my problems. I stopped reading my bible and only prayed to God on Sundays and only for the things I wanted . I didn’t understand why God let my friendships end. I felt broken and lost and didn’t know what to do.

I let myself turn into a lazy, luke-warm christian and didn’t trust the plan God had for my life. I forgot proverbs 3:5-6 which says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” I didn’t trust him through my storm and praise him. I fell away and I hate that I did. I forgot that we can’t simply praise him when things are great but we must also praise him in the storm. God could see that I was at my breaking point and he didn’t give up on me because he brought a wonderful person into my life who has shown me so much joy and helped me realize my worth. He has brought me the answers I have been praying for all these years, and he has brought me so much closer to God. I can now clearly see God’s plan, that he wished I had trusted him more. Now just because I have found the answers doesn’t mean I don't struggle anymore.

I am still human and still struggle with human emotions and weaknesses. But even through this I am learning to trust God’s plan more. He brought me my best relationship out of my worst.

Even through this rough season of quarantine God is bringing me closer to him and my heart is more full than it's ever been. By trusting God I have been so much more emotionally and spiritually filled.

I have stepped out of my comfort zone, and done things I wouldn’t have even thought of doing. I have trusted the Lord and he has brought me to start a christian classroom where I have met so many wonderful people from across the world. I have trusted the Lord and have started leading zoom bible studies which I never imagined doing since I hate public speaking. I have trusted the Lord and started posting on instagram about my faith and even creating an account dedicated to serving the Lord.

God has brought me so much closer to Himself through my struggles with loneliness, overthinking, and through this time of quarantine.

I really encourage you to trust God in the hardships and in the joyful moments. God is greater than your lowest of lows and your highest of highs.

If you are struggling to trust God because you don’t realize how real he is, let me tell you some of the amazing reasons HE has done in my life as I put my trust in HIM.

He has brought me signs in my darkest times by bringing the perfect songs across my playlist that have brought me so much peace. He has brought things on my social media feeds saying that he loves me and he hasn’t left me. He used someone to send me a snapchat giving me encouragement for things that I was struggling with when she had no clue what I was going through. I see God in our perfect nature, in the complexity of our universe and our anatomy. I see God when I am praying and a little kid comes and hugs me. God is so real and so true and I wouldn't put my trust and give my problems to anyone else. God’s plan for your life is the best and he will bring so much good out of what you think are the worst things in your life. This shirt is such a great reminder of the story of Noah and how Noah trusted God during the biggest storm in nature and God brought him out of it and gave us a promise with a rainbow. Noah went through so much and yet he still trusted God and that is such a great reminder. God will bring you out of the storm that Satan is putting in your path. Satan has tried to bring me down and Christians all over the world, but he is failing because these struggles are what makes us stronger. Satan is trying to discourage us, but God has a bigger plan and I trust that. I see that even through this time of quarantine and personal struggle, God is working in his people and creating great things in this world. So tell Satan that what he is trying to do isn’t working and that he has been defeated and  trust God with all your heart.

Remember that God sees things that you don’t and he hears conversations that you can’t. He knows when it's time to let go of things and when he knows you're not strong enough to let go. He will put you back together right in front of the people that broke you.

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