I have quite recently discovered that faith isn’t something that you arrive to, but it’s something you choose: every step of the journey.
Growing up in a predominantly Christian household, I’ve always known Jesus. Faith has always been apart of my journey, but walk in faith long enough and you realize it’s never easy. It gets messy and incredibly difficult.
This last summer I was faced with a hardship I never in a million years expected to face. A lot of people around me dealt with depression and anxiety, but I was always the one that could never relate until out of nowhere, it happened to me.
If there’s anything my 23 years of knowing Jesus has taught me, it’s give it to God.
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
And so I spent time in fervent prayer asking God to take it from me because I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I didn’t want this to be apart of my story.
Every day I was praying for a miracle. I knew then that Jesus was and is my healer so I hoped that he would heal me. I hoped that he would give me the miracle that I asked for because “ask and it shall be given to you” (Matthew 7:7). I spent my days hoping I would be healed, but not believing that God would actually do it.
That’s a scary thought isn’t it? Having faith in God, but doubting whether he’d answer your prayers.
It all came down to a point for me where I had to choose to believe that either God would heal me or that He was doing something important in me while I was walking through depression and anxiety.
In this season, I had to choose obedience even when I didn’t understand what God was doing. If I’m being honest, I still don’t fully get it but I’m still choosing to believe that He’s making me available for the road ahead of me.
All this time, He’s been teaching me that the journey of faith isn’t about understanding all the whats, the whys, the hows, and the what-have-yous. It’s about following Jesus and trusting God through all of it.
When we can embrace the story that God is writing for us, we encounter the truth that God is faithful from beginning to end and beyond.
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