I never loved myself as a child. I felt that I had a bland personality, an ugly appearance, and no talents. I was very loved by my family and those around me, however, I think there was a sense of, “Why do you love me? Why would you love me? Will you realize that I’m not worth your love and stop?”
The devil started lying to me and made me believe that if I did certain things, amazing things like my sister, that I might gain value, respect and a future of worth. I thought this would make me worth loving, and because of this, I tried to act like my sister.
I learned how to play the piano, so I could perform at church. I tried to be as good and mature as she was, so I could be in the ministries that she was a part of. I wanted to have her spiritual gifts, so that maybe I could earn my place in life. In the end though, I realized that I couldn’t.
This is where I was before I asked Jesus to save me. I was completely lost, angry and tired. I had no idea who I was nor who I was supposed to become.
The great thing about God is that He doesn’t require us to have everything figured out before we come to Him, just that we’re all messy sinners and we desperately need Him. He is so loving that He created a way for us to have eternal life and a relationship with Him.
With my new identity in Christ, the devil however, wasn’t done lying to me.
Identity and self-esteem issues still attempt to hinder me and my relationship with God. I struggle to claim my freedom and understand God’s unconditional love for me, and instead, obsess over whether I’m good enough for my Savior.
I worry about not being more like a typical Christian woman, because I am more focused on a career over getting married, and doubt whether I should try to be a strong woman, or if I could even be a strong woman. I also doubt my ability to be the author that God has called me to be, since I never thought of myself as skilled in that area.
Using the following four biblically -rooted strategies I am learning to claim my identity and self worth:
He created our personality, our emotions, our interests, our need, our talents, looks and gender, on purpose and for a purpose.
God didn’t make a mistake and in fact, these are a part of your testimony. God created you to be the way you are because He knows it’ll help others. Don’t spend your life hating who you are. Realise that God adores how He made you and wants you to claim it.
I don’t know what labels people have put on you, or you’ve even put on yourself, but in the end, none of those things really matter.
You’ve been given an identity that’s so much greater than anything you could dream, with the ability to destroy the negative thoughts and words that have been used against you. This is the identity of being God’s treasured child.
God loves you so much that He sacrificed His Son to give you the gift of being adopted by Him, and all that He asks for in return is a relationship.
It’s time to defend yourself against that which is opposing you claiming your identity, and you can do this by memorising, quoting, and declaring God’s Word.
Jesus didn’t quote a whole chapter of the Bible to defend Himself against the devil, He chose a specific verse that pertained to that situation, and that’s exactly what you can do.
Find verses that speak about overcoming your struggle and memorise them, one at a time. Then, when the devil tries to lie to you, someone hurts you, or you just need a reminder, quote these verses in your head or declare them aloud.
I’ve had times where nothing seems to help, and when this happens I realise that I’m relying on myself and I haven’t truly asked God to help me
Using these four strategies to help through my own struggles, I’m still able to glorify God and be used for His will.
I can help others who are battling with their true identity through my writing, and have a prayer by my desk where I ask God to join me in my writing, and every area of my life.
I’ve also been learning how to rest in God. He has revealed to me that resting in Him is a posture of the heart not an action, and when we rest in Him, our trust will grow stronger.
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